Only Friend
by supermegafoxtawesomehot
Summary: 2 shot about Reid's drug addition. Friendship story. Rated t for drug use and very mild cursing. Not slash
1. Chapter 1

Hi everybody,

I am a huge Reid fan and just rewatched Revelations. I was disappointed in the way the show handled his drug use, so I wrote my own. I know there are several others like this, but I had this idea in my head and I wanted to put it on paper because A) It wouldn't stop nagging me and B) I am having serious writer's block with my other story I'm working on for white collar but I will update that very soon.

Thank you to my beta for making my writing readable

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of the characters used in this story, it is all for fun.

Warning: spoilers for Revelations

I know nothing about drugs so If I make any glaring mistakes I apologize and ask you to either suspend disbelief or let me know and I will try to change it if I am able to.

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Reid's POV

I stared at the needle that had become my only friend these last few months. The only thing that could make the pain stop; help me cope.

Five months, five months since I had been taken, beaten, and almost killed. It would be easy to blame Tobias for my addiction, but I knew the truth. Even if he hadn't given me the drugs to survive the beatings I would have turned to them anyway, just to be able to deal with the emotional pain.

You would think with me being as smart as I am, I would realize drugs aren't the answer. I know the risks; the damage I am inflicting on my mind and body, and for what? For a few moments of feeling good? The problem was even though my mind knows this my body wants it; needs it anyway.

I pushed my kit away from me and all too soon the feelings were too strong and knew I had to give in. I was weak. It wasn't something I wanted anymore, it was something I needed. I had to meet the rest of the team in an hour so I tied the tourniquet around my arm and winced as the needle broke my skin.

A single tear rolled down my cheek as I pressed down and the clear liquid entered my veins and felt a blissful drowsiness come over me.

Then it all changed in a second. Something was very wrong. The floor raced towards me and blackness was threatening to crush me. I realized I was overdosing. Had I checked the amount carefully? I barely had time to form a coherent memory of the needle before I succumbed to the darkness and knew no more.

Morgan's POV

I can't do this anymore. Everyone had been so glad when Reid was rescued in Georgia, but as more time went on every member of the team realized we didn't rescue him, not really. He was still being tortured, but this time it was by a force we couldn't see. So how are we supposed to save him? He is being taken away from us a little bit more everyday. I can't just sit here and let it happen anymore. I have to sit down with him and make him tell me what's going on.

Not showing up for a case was as un-Reid-like as it was possible to get. We were possibly hours from identifying the unsub and no one had heard from Reid all day. I walked down the hall of the hotel we were staying in, opened my room and pushed opened the adjacent room's door to confront him.

What I saw nearly stopped my heart. Reid was laying on the ground making a soft moaning sound. I knelt down beside him and as I was checking for visible signs of trauma when my foot collided with a small glass object and I picked it up.

I froze for a moment as I realized what it was.

_NO. _

There had to be some other rational explanation for this. Drugs and our genius don't mix, but as I looked down I saw a tourniquet tied in place, and the needle was still in his arm.

The more I thought about it the more it made sense. The moodiness, pushing everyone away. Damn it, why hadn't I seen it sooner? Hankle had been an addict so he had probably gotten Reid hooked. I hadn't thought it was possible for me to hate that man more than I already did but I was wrong. For the first time I actually wished he was still alive so I could kill him myself.

Reid was gently stirring and I sighed, glad he was conscious. I wouldn't have to call for an ambulance. If I had, there would be no way around Strauss finding out. I leaned him against the end of the farthest bed and he slowly opened his eyes.

Reid's pov

I opened my eyes and surveyed my surroundings. I pulled the needle out of my arm and I froze in place when I saw my kit on the floor and Morgan staring at me with worry.

I tried to say something, anything, but the words died in my throat so I tried again.

"Please don't tell anyone," I said. My voice was raspy and pleading. Shock crossed his features.

"Reid, you're a drug addict." He said with difficulty. "You need help."

I winced at the accusation and I longed to tell him I wasn't. I hadn't slipped that far but looking around me I had to face the fact that I had. I was at rock bottom

"Please," I said again, and before I realized what was happening, I was crying on his shoulder. He didn't say anything for five minutes after I stopped.

"I'm not going to say anything," he said carefully. My expression must have been too relieved because he added, "If you stop right now.

I paused for a moment and then nodded, wondering if he was actually going to keep that promise.

"Ok, then get cleaned up. I was sent up here to check on you. We need your brilliant mind right now."

"I will be ready in two minutes," I grabbed my kit and threw it in the trash which got a nod of approval from Morgan and walked into the bathroom to get dressed.

How am I going to do it? I can't just give it up cold turkey. I only had 1 1/2 more doses until I was done with my current vile so I could wean myself off with that amount. Would Morgan notice, though?

When I came out Morgan walked towards the door and I went to follow him, barely stopping when I reached in the trash can to my kit and grabbed the contents, just leaving the bag behind.

* * *

I know Morgan is a little OC because he has shown in the show he would have told Hotch or Gideon right away but I need him using in the next chapter and tried other team members finding him and it didn't flow as well so I stuck with it.

This is a two shot and I already have most of the next chapter written so I should update in a few days. I am sorry about how short it is but the next chapter longer so hopefully that makes up for it.

reviews = love


	2. Chapter 2

Ok chapter 2

Sorry about the wait computer glitches prevented me from uploading but it's all good now.

Thank you to my beta for being awesome and correcting my horrendous spelling and grammar

I don't own criminal minds yada yada on to the story

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_I have 1 ½ cc left, so if I take ½ cc right now and keep cutting it in half each day, it will be gone in one week. _I told myself to alleviate the guilt. I knew I was betraying Morgan's trust, but I couldn't go cold turkey… I just couldn't. I was weak just like Charles Hankle had said.

With that thought buzzing in my head, I grabbed the needle and injected the drug into my system letting myself forget my guilt for a while.

Suddenly the phone was ringing.

"Hello," I managed.

"Reid, we located the unsub. He is at 57437 Olympus Drive. We believe he has Jessica with him, meet the team there in five minutes," he told me.

Then he was gone.

Shit.

There was nothing I could do but go and pray there was some chemical in the water that prevented them from noticing a high coworker in their midst. I didn't think anyone besides Morgan suspected anything yet, but my current condition would certainly tip them off. I started for the door and noticed how awkward and uncoordinated my steps were. _Great, this is going to be fun,_ I thought to myself.

I knew I couldn't drive in my condition, so I hailed a cab and had him park a block away so the team wouldn't notice. I walked up to them and saw alarm on their faces.

As I walked up flashes were going off everywhere. I glanced up and saw a mass of reporters standing behind the yellow tape. I vaguely wondered how they had found out what was going on before I had.

"Kid, are you alright?" Morgan asked.

"You look like hell," Prentiss added.

"I'm fine, guys. What's going on?" I said, no one responded but Hotchner's eyes didn't leave my face for a full minute. He looked upset, but then sighed and didn't say anything.

It was JJ who broke the silence, "He's in the house and he has the girl. He knows we're out here. He is desperate, and spiraling."

"Ok," Hotch said, "JJ, control this media frenzy. Morgan and Prentiss, you take the back door. Jason and I will take the front. Reid, I want you in the alley to make sure he doesn't escape, the house has an exit leading to it. Ok, you all have your orders. Let's move."

I started for the alley with a sinking heart. Hotch had to know something, there was no other reason for him to keep me out of the action. I wasn't complaining, I could barely see straight. I was in no condition to be in the field, but it embarrassed me that my team leader knew about my secret.

I took my gun out of my holster and waited.

Five minutes….

Ten minutes….

Suddenly, two unsubs ran out the door holding the girl. No, there was only one unsub. I was just seeing double.

I reached up to rub my eyes but it didn't help. I started to raise my gun, but it felt heavy; like I was raising it through quick sand. He, on the other hand, had no such limitations. He raised his gun to Jessica's head and started to pull the trigger.

Suddenly, two shots came from over my shoulder, and the unsub fell to the ground, leaving the trembling girl free to run to the agents. Prentiss put a jacket around her and led her towards the waiting ambulance.

All the other team members were staring at me like they couldn't believe the sight in front of them .If there was anger in Hotch's eyes before, it was nothing compared to what was there now.

I got a ride back with JJ and Gideon, but they didn't say anything. I knew how lucky I was at that point. There was a reason I avoided riding with Hotch. I don't know why I was delaying the inevitable, but it was the only thing I could do. I glanced up and knew what Jason and JJ were thinking, so I just looked out the window and braced myself for what was to come. When we got back to the BAU headquarters, we met the rest of the team in the bull pin.

"Reid, my office, now, " Hotchner said and dread flooded my body. My head was starting to clear up and I knew exactly how deep I was in. As soon as I closed the door it started.

"How dare you, Reid! You put an innocent girl's life in danger today. If Jason hadn't shot the unsub, Jessica and you would both be dead right now. I know you have been through a lot in the past few months. Officially, I didn't know about your drug habit because if I did I would have had to fire you immediately. But you crossed a line today. You showed up high on the job. I should have confronted you about your habit earlier, but I didn't and that's on me, so hear it is. You get help immediately and I still don't know. If I ever catch you using again, I will have your badge. Do you understand?"

"Yes sir, " I told him with my eyes firmly on the carpeted ground.

"Ok then, we have nothing else to talk about," he said.

"Ok," I told him as I walked to the exit. My hand touched the door when I turned and said, "Hotch." He looked up and meet my eyes "Thanks…."

I sat down at my desk and tried to blink the tears away. Everything Hotch had said echoed in my head and each phrase stabbed me in the gut because it was true, every word of it.

How could I have been so stupid? I was supposed to be a genius and I had almost gotten an eleven year-old-girl killed because of my stupidity. I could have lost everything; my job was all I had right now. I stood up and walked over to Morgan's desk. He was already starting on the pile of paperwork we had to do on this case.

"Can we talk for a minute?" I asked him.

"Sure," he said, and we walked outside to the garden right next to the headquarters. There, I broke down. I told him everything, from details I hadn't shared about being held by Tobias, to why I started using the drugs and then about today.

I had to go to mandated therapy but I bs'ed it; told the shrink what he wanted to hear. It wasn't exactly hard for a profiler to pass an evaluation. This was the first time I had ever shared any of this. I felt exposed, but I knew that I could trust Derek, and I knew I would feel so much better afterwards.

"And now," I continued, fighting through to the end,) "I have to quit or I'm going to loose everything. I have tried so hard to get clean, but each time I failed. I can't do it alone."

"You don't have to," he told me.

"Why aren't you mad at me" I asked. "I lied to you and I used again. You should be furious with me."

"I'm not mad. I'm a little disappointed, but this road is going to be a hard one. Just promise me you will never give up. You don't loose until you quit."

"I promise."

"Good. because I can't loose my best friend, " he told me, smiling slightly.

I returned it with a smile of my own and told him, "You won't."

I looked up at him and he looked at his watch and put his hand on my shoulder.

"Come on," he said, and we walked for five minutes until we arrived at an old church.

"What are we doing here?" I asked.

"There's an NA meeting hear in about 10 minutes. You want to quit, this is the best place to start."

"How did you know about this place?" I asked.

"Bomb squad is a very stressful job," he told me. "Before I came to the Behavioral Analysis Unit I knew several people who started to self-medicate to cope."

"Will you come with me?" I asked.

"Sure thing, kid, " he responded and we walked in together.

We were greeted by a friendly woman who gave me a welcome chip and told us where to sit.

I sat there for what seemed like forever until the group leader got up front.

"Hello everybody, if we have any new members with us today please come up and introduce yourself to the group."

I stood up shakily and walked to the front of the room. I grabbed the microphone. I hate public speaking.

"Umm, hello, my name is Spencer Reid, and I'm a drug addict," I started.

"Hi, Spencer," they greeted.

I looked at Morgan for support, and what I saw almost made me break down again.

Every member of my team was standing in the back of the room. I didn't know how they had gotten there and I didn't care. All I cared about was that not a single face was judging me or was disappointed in me.

Gideon smiled at me as only a father could, welcoming back his prodigal son.

JJ looked like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She probably had been blaming herself for the repercussions of Georgia. I hadn't thought about how much I must have been hurting her with my actions. I knew I had to make it up to her sometime.

Hotch was as unreadable as always, but I got the feeling he was glad for me.

Prentiss had a relived look on her face, and I knew she was glad snippy short druggy Reid would soon be gone forever.

Garcia was overjoyed that all her baby hens would be ok.

They all nodded at me to continue .

"I'm an FBI agent, and I started using about five months ago when I was abducted by an unsub we were after."

The group looked completely lost, and that got a smile from my team... we were use to that.

"Umm.. the bad guy we were after. He had multiple personality disorder and one of his personalities beat me and another forced drugs into me to make it better. At first I resisted, but soon I stopped trying, anything to escape for a little while. I shot him in the end but by that time I was hooked. I took the drugs off his body and have been using ever since."

When I was done speaking I walked over to my team and they hugged me one at a time.

I knew at that moment I was wrong. My needle wasn't my only friend, it wasn't the only thing that could help me cope. I was surrounded by what could help me through. I knew that this addiction would not control me anymore. I could and would beat it.

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Again Please forgive me for my lack of knowledge in certain subject matters. I don't know exactly what the symptoms for Dilaudid use are and I don't know anything about NA meetings so I took some creative licenses.

I am also writing a two shot about Morgan after profiler profiled so be on the lookout for that

Thank you for reading and please review


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